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Feathers, Funds, and Franklin
Professor LabTuna
May 12, 2025
Hey,
Happy Monday!
Dive into this week’s newsletter for a hilarious lab tale about pigeons turned gamblers and a goldmine of top 10 grant sources to fuel your research dreams!
From Benjamin Franklin’s wisdom to a 3-phase grant-writing hack, we’ve got the tools and laughs to supercharge your science journey.
Plus, share your own lab story for a chance at a Starbucks gift card!
In this issue:
🧠 Quote of the Day
An investment in knowledge always pays the best interest.
😂 Lab Story of the Week
The Pigeon Slot Snafu
At Reed College, where quirky academics and espresso fumes mingled, a wild experiment hatched in 2021, backed by a $465,339 NIH grant. Professor Timothy Hackenberg’s team aimed to turn six pigeons into mini gamblers, pecking through a token economy to probe gambling addiction. It was serious science with a goofy twist, and for one grad student, it became a lab legend.
The setup was a behavioral gem: a small chamber with two panels, their colored keys (red, green, white) glowing like a cheap casino sign. Pigeons pecked to earn tokens: red for water, green for food, white for either. They could save, spend, or gamble tokens in a slot machine setup, mimicking human risk-taking. Enter grad student Alex (a stand-in for an unnamed researcher), whose thesis hopped on these birds. One late night, bleary from too much coffee, Alex botched the token schedule, setting gambling odds to absurd levels. The pigeons went nuts, pecking wildly, some hoarding tokens, others betting all in a chaotic flurry.
Morning revealed a data disaster: graphs looked like a toddler’s doodle, not science. The lab erupted in laughter; a postdoc choked on tea, a technician snapped a photo for the “Wall of Whoops,” and Hackenberg quipped, “Alex, you’ve made pigeon poker!” Alex blushed, mortified by the programming flub. Reruns only deepened the mess, with one pigeon pecking randomly like it was on strike. The “Pigeon Slot Snafu” became campus lore, scribbled in lab margins. Senator Rand Paul’s 2021 Festivus Report mocked the study’s cost, and media dubbed it taxpayer-funded folly.
Alex regrouped, fixed the setup, and nailed the next run, with pigeons choosing wisely. A smudge on the chamber’s panel nods to the chaos. The snafu became the lab’s favorite tale, told to newbies: check your settings, or earn a PhD in pigeon mayhem. In a world of rigorous research, this feathered flop shone brightest.
☕ Share Your Funniest Lab Story & Win Starbucks!
Got a story like this? Share it with us!
Every week, we feature one submission, and the storyteller gets a Starbucks gift card.
📅 Events Calendar
We’ve compiled all major science & lab-related events in a public Google Calendar.
✅ Add it to your calendar: [iPhone] | [Android] | [Mac] | [Windows]
✅ Know a great event? Send it to us and help grow the community calendar.
Please, share interesting events to make this Community-based Calendar better.
💲 Top 10 Grant Sources for Laboratory Students and Academics in the United States
Federal agencies, private foundations, and nonprofit organizations provide billions of dollars in research funding annually to support scientific advancement in the United States. This list identifies the top 10 funding sources available to laboratory students and academic researchers across various disciplines.
National Institutes of Health (NIH)
The NIH is the world’s largest biomedical research funder, offering predoctoral and postdoctoral fellowships, career development awards, and grants for students in medicine and health-related fields. In 2023, it awarded over $243 million to a single institution, supporting projects like disease research
https://www.nih.gov/grants-funding
National Science Foundation (NSF)
The NSF funds 24% of federally supported basic research, with its Graduate Research Fellowship Program providing five-year fellowships for students in science and ecology. It offers stipends and tuition support for U.S. citizens pursuing research-based graduate degrees.
https://www.nsf.gov/fundingUS Department of Agriculture (USDA)
The USDA’s National Institute of Food and Agriculture provides $1.6 billion for research in food security, nutrition, and climate adaptation through its Agriculture and Food Research Initiative. It supports graduate students and institutions in agricultural and ecological studies.
https://www.nifa.usda.gov/grantsBill & Melinda Gates Foundation
This foundation funds global health and disease prevention research, supporting students in medicine and public health with over $6.2 billion in giving. It also backs educational initiatives for underserved U.S. students in health-related fields.
https://www.gatesfoundation.org/our-workBurroughs Wellcome Fund
The fund supports biomedical students at career transitions with postdoctoral enrichment grants and infectious disease research awards. It targets underfunded fields, helping grad students in medicine bridge funding gaps.
https://www.bwfund.org/funding-opportunitiesRobert Wood Johnson Foundation
Focused on public health, this foundation funds research on healthcare policy and social determinants of health, ideal for students in medicine and health sciences. It prioritizes non-pharmaceutical approaches, supporting innovative student projects.
https://www.rwjf.org/en/grantsAmerican Heart Association
The AHA offers biannual grants for students researching cardiovascular disease and stroke, complementing NIH funding in medical fields. Its focused scope makes it accessible for lab students in targeted health research.
https://professional.heart.org/en/research-programs/aha-research-funding-opportunitiesAlfred P. Sloan Foundation
The Sloan Foundation supports early-career scientists in STEM, including ecology and data-driven research, through research fellowships. Its programs are accessible to graduate students establishing independent projects in science.
https://sloan.org/programs/researchDepartment of Energy (DOE)
The DOE funds ecology and energy-related research through its SBIR/STTR programs, awarding ~600 grants annually with over $300 million. It supports students in environmental management and sustainable energy studies.
https://www.energy.gov/science/office-science-funding-opportunitiesNational Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA)
NASA’s ROSES program funds ecology and earth science research with grants like High Priority Open-Source Science (~$100,000) for students. It emphasizes open science, ideal for grad students in ecological data-sharing projects.
https://science.nasa.gov/researchers/solicitations/roses-2025/
✍️ Lifehack: The 3-Phase Grant Development System
Transform your grant writing process with a strategic 3-phase approach.
First, in the Planning Phase, write a one-page summary of 3-5 specific aims and have it reviewed by three senior colleagues who serve as your "grant committee".
Second, during the Development Phase, prepare your proposal at least 8 weeks before the deadline, focusing on creating a strong significance section that clearly identifies knowledge gaps and potential impact.
Finally, implement a Refinement Phase where you specifically enhance three critical elements: your project timeline, budget justification, and alternative approaches section.
For NIH grants, use NIH RePORTER to review successful applications in your field and avoid overlap with already funded research.
Why It Works
This structured approach addresses the reality that only 10-15% of proposals receive funding, making quality preparation essential.
Reviewers typically look for five key components: qualified candidates, clear career development plans, innovative research approaches, strong mentoring, and supportive environments.
Having a "grant committee" provides the mentoring that NIH specifically recommends for new investigators.
Pro Tip
When creating your specific aims page, focus on innovation rather than iteration. Projects seen as merely "better, faster, or more efficient" are often considered incremental and directed elsewhere by agencies like NSF.